 Verse 1
I was born with a dick in my brain yeah fucked in the head,
my stepfather said that I sucked in the bed,
till one night he snuck in and said, "we're going out back- I want my dick sucked in the shed",
can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?,
"After I fuck you in the butt get some head,
bust a nut get some rest",
the next day my mother said "I don't know what the fucks up with this kid,
the bastard won't even eat nothin he's fed,
he just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead",
"Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset,
go in there stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck,
I bet you he's faking it, I'll bet you I'll bet,
he probably just wants to see how upset you would get,
I'll go handle this of course unless you object?"
"Aw go fuck his brains out if any's left in his head"
Chorus
If could count the skeletons in my closet,
under my bed and up under my faucet,
then you would know I completely lost it,
is he nuts? NO, he's insane,
If you could count the skeletons in my closet,
then you would know I completely lost it,
is he nuts? NO, he's insane.
Verse 2
Did you get him? Naw the fucker tried to bite my face off,
I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw,
then he took the chainsaw bit the fuckin' blades off,
ate the blades stuck a baseball in a slangshot,
then he aimed at his own face let the thang pop,
took his eye out picked it up and played pang-pong,
then he played pang-pong with his own dang dong,
that motherfucker's got nuts like Kang Kong,
then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn,
and he laid all up underneath it with the thang on,
then he took his pants he took every fucking thang off,
everythang 'cept his tank to and his training bra,
ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac that's Shady dog man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dog?,
Shady dog what be goin' through that fuckin' brain of yours?,
say no more, what the fuck you waitin' for sang along,
Chorus
Verse 3
Don't you know what feltch means? Yeah- well then tell me,
would you rather get fetched or the feltching?,
Fuck 'em in the ass suck the come out while you're belching,
(burp) burp belch and go back for a second helping,
can you dig what I', sayin' man can you smell me?,
I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me,
fuck a little puppy kick the puppy while he's yelping,
Shady what the fuck you saying? I don't know help me,
what the fucks happening? I think I'm fucking melting,
"Marshall I just love you boy I care about your well being",
No dad I said no, I don't need no help peeing, I'm a big boy I can do it by myself see,
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me,
she showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm Street",
but it was X and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea",
"well this one's called "Ass Rape" and were shooting the jail scene",
Chorus
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