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Brad Paisley
Brad Paisley


Информация
Настоящее имя Bradley Douglas Paisley
Дата рождения 28 октября 1972 г.
Откуда Glen Dale, West Virginia, United States
Жанры Southern Rock
Americana
Country
Годы 1999—н.в.
Лейблы Arista Nashville Records
См. также Dolly Parton
David Kersh
Alison Krauss
Carrie Underwood
Chely Wright
Dierks Bentley
Keith Urban
Сайт Website



Music World  →  Тексты песен  →  B  →  Brad Paisley  →  Дискография  →  Hits Alive

Альбом Brad Paisley


Hits Alive (02.11.2010)
02.11.2010
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
When I Get Where I'm Going (feat. Dolly Parton)
7.
8.
Then (Piano Mix)
9.
10.
11.
12.
Whiskey Lullaby (feat. Alison Krauss)
13.
14.
1.
Water (Live)
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Time Warp (Live, Instrumental)
8.
9.
Then (Live)
10.
Alcohol (Live)
11.
Online (Reprise, Live)
. . .


Written by Brad Paisley & Chris DuBois

I've got some big news
The bank finally came through
And I'm holding the keys to
My brand new Chevrolet
Have you been outside
It sure is a nice night
How 'bout a little test drive
Down by the lake

There's a place I know about
Where the dirt road runs out
We can try out the four wheel drive
Come on now, what do you say
Girl, I can hardly wait
To get a little mud on the tires

Chorus:
'Cause it's a good night
To be out there soaking up the moonlight
Stake out a little piece of shoreline
I've got the perfect place in mind
It's in the middle of nowhere
Only one way to get there
You gotta get a little mud on the tires

Moonlight on a duck blind
Catfish on a trout line
Sun sets about nine
This time of year
We can throw a blanket down
Crickets singing in the background
And more stars than you can count
On a night this clear

I tell you what we need to do
Is grab a sleeping bag or two
And build us a little campfire
And then with a little luck
We might just get stuck
Let's get a little mud on the tires

Chorus

And then with a little luck
We might just get stuck

. . .



Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
Now, I'd hate to waste a night like this

I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.

You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

You never know where one might be
There's lots of places that are hard to reach
I gotcha.

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you baby way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I'd sure like to check you for ticks...

. . .


I remember sayin' I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "Ya see that thing right there well ya know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if hes anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree to tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearin something in a cast
Hes gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
Hes gonna get in trouble oh hes gonna get in fights
Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryin to melt the Tonka truck
Wont he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time hes in his teens
And heaven help him if hes anything like me

He'll probably stay out to late and drive his car to fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
Hes gonna get caught skippin class and be ground for a week
Hes gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep
Its safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

Hes gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
Hes gonna hug hes momma hes gonna shake my hand
Hes gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry hes eyes out
If hes anything like me (cant understand)
Aw he'll be alright if hes anything like me

. . .



To the teller down at the bank
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is

[Chorus]
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world

To the waiter at the restaurant
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is

[Repeat chorus]

You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me

That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've gotta say is


. . .



Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
that pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can't even remember now
what she backed my truck into
but she covered her mouth
and her face got red
and she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn't
Even act like
I was mad
Yeah I live for
little moments
like that

That's like just last year on my birthday
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector
in the house was going off
And she was just about to cry until I took her in my arms
And I tried not
To let her see
me laugh
Yeah I live for
little moments
like that

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank God that she isn't
cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections
It's the sudden change of plans
when she misreads the directions
and we're lost but holding hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin on my shoulder
on the sofa in the dark
and about the time she falls asleep
so does my right arm
and I want so bad to move it cause it's tingling and it's numb
she looks so much like an angel
that I don't wanna wake her up
yeah I live for little moments
when she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it

. . .


(feat. Dolly Parton)

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going

. . .


Written by Brad Paisley

Someday I'm gonna be famous
Do I have talent ... well ... no
These days you don't really need it
Thanks to reality shows
Can't Wait to date a supermodel
Can't Wait to sue my dad
Can't wait to wreck a Ferrari
On my way to rehab

Chorus:
'Cause when you're a Celebrity
It's adios reality
You can act just like a fool
People think you're cool
Just 'cause your on TV
I can throw A major fit
When my latte isn't just how I like it
They say I've gone insane
I'll blame it on the fame
And the pressures that it goes with
Being a Celebrity
uh huh

I get to cry to Barbara Walters
When Things don't go my way
I'll get community service
No matter which law I break
I'll make the supermarket tabloids
They'll write some awful stuff
But the more they run my name down
THE MORE MY PRICE GOES UP

Chorus:
'Cause when you're a Celebrity
It's adios reality
No matter what you do
People think you're cool
Just 'cause you're on TV
I can fall in and out of love
Have marriages that barely last a month
When they go down the drain
I'll blame it on fame
And say it's just so tough
Being a Celebrity

So let's hitch up the wagons and head out west
To the land of fun in the sun
We'll be real world bachelors
Jackass Millionaires
Hey, Hey, Hollywood
Here we come!

Chorus:
Yeah, When you're a Celebrity
It's adios reality
No matter what you do
People think you're cool
Just cause you're on tv
...Being a Celebrity
...Yeah Celebrity
...uh-huh

. . .


I remember
Trying not to stare
the night i first me you
You had me memorized
three weeks later
in the front porch light
taking forty five minutes
to kiss good night
I hadn't told you then
I thought I loved you then

(Chorus)
now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
strong then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought I loved you then

I remember
Taking you back
To right where I first met you
you were so surprised
there were people around
but i didn't care
I got down on one knee
right there once again
I thought i loved you then

(Chorus)
now your my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
strong then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought i loved you then

(break)

I can just see with you
with a baby on the way
i can just see you when your hair is turning gray
what i cant see
Is how I'm never gonna love you more
but I've said that before

now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
You'll look back some day
at this moment that we're in
and ill look at you and say
and i thought i loved you then
and i thought i loved you then

. . .


When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's headin' now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy

. . .


(Brad Paisley, Kelley Lovelace) 

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run 

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes 

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in 

And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be 

. . .



I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol


. . .


(Featuring Alison Krauss)
(Bill Anderson/Jon Randall)

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

1st Chorus
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

(Sing lullaby)

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

2nd Chorus
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby


. . .


(Brad Paisley, Chris DuBois) 

The bar was empty
I was sweeping up the floor
That's when she walked in
I said, "I'm sorry but we're closed"
And she said "I know,
But I'm afraid I left my purse"
I said, "I put one back behind the bar
I bet it's probably yours"
And the next thing that I knew 
There we were, lost in conversation
And before I handed her her purse
I said, "You'll only get this back on one condition" 

Chorus
And we danced
Out there on that empty hardwood floor
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low
The music played, we held each other close
And we danced 

And from that moment 
There was never any doubt
I had found the one
That I had always dreamed about
And then one evenin'
When she stopped by after work
I pulled a diamond ring out of the pocket of my shirt
And as her eyes filled up with tears
She said, "This is the last thing I expected"
And then she took me by the hand
And said, "I'll only marry you on one condition" 

Chorus 

Like no one else had ever danced before
I can't explain what happened on that floor
But the music played 
We held each other close
And we danced

. . .



I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-fi fantatic
Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

. . .


Inflatable pool full of dad's hot air
I was three years old
Splashin' everywhere
And so began my love affair
With water

On a river bank
With all my friends
A big old rope tied to a limb
And your a big old wuss
If you don't jump in
The water

Yeah when that summer sun starts to beatin' down
And you don't know what to do
Grab your swimming trunks
Ice up that old igloo
Drive until the map turns blue

Daytona Beach on spring break
Eighteen girls up on stage
White t-shirts about to be sprayed
With water

Oh let'er go boys

Yeah when that summer sun starts to beatin' down
And you don't know what to do
Just go and grab someone you wanna see in a bathing suit
And drive until the map turns blue

You can stay right there
When the daylights gone
Play truth or dare
And it wont take long
'Fore you and her got nothin' on
But water

All you really need this time of year
Is a pair of shades
And ice cold beer
And a place to sit somewhere near
Water

. . .


Woahhhhh woahhhhhhh
Shes got Brazilian leather boots on the pedal of her German car
Listen to the Beatles singing back in the USSR
Yeah shes goin around the world tonight
But she ain't leavin here
Shes just going to meet her boyfriend down at the street fair

It's a french kiss, italian ice
Spanish moss in the moonlight
Just another American Saturday night

There's a big toga party tonight down at Delta Chi
They've got Canadian bacon on their pizza pie
They've got a cooler full of cold Coronas and Amstel light
It's like were all livin' in a big ol' cup
Just fire up the blender, mix it all up

It's a French kiss, Italian ice
Margaritas in the moonlight (woahhhh)
Just another American Saturday night

You know everywhere has something they're known for
Although usually it washes up on our shores
My great great great granddaddy stepped off of that ship
I bet he never ever dreamed we'd have all this

You know everywhere has somethin' they're known for
Although usually it washes up on our shores
Little Italy, Chinatown, sittin' there side by side
Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!

It's a French kiss, Italian ice,
Spanish moss in the moonlight
Just another American, just another American,
Its just another American Saturday night

. . .



Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind

. . .


(Brad Paisley/Frank Rogers)

Well I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch
Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things 
And she'd be gone by noon

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home 
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But that water's right
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home 
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Yeah, I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

. . .


Written by Brad Paisley & Chris DuBois

I've got some big news
The bank finally came through
And I'm holding the keys to
My brand new Chevrolet
Have you been outside
It sure is a nice night
How 'bout a little test drive
Down by the lake

There's a place I know about
Where the dirt road runs out
We can try out the four wheel drive
Come on now, what do you say
Girl, I can hardly wait
To get a little mud on the tires

Chorus:
'Cause it's a good night
To be out there soaking up the moonlight
Stake out a little piece of shoreline
I've got the perfect place in mind
It's in the middle of nowhere
Only one way to get there
You gotta get a little mud on the tires

Moonlight on a duck blind
Catfish on a trout line
Sun sets about nine
This time of year
We can throw a blanket down
Crickets singing in the background
And more stars than you can count
On a night this clear

I tell you what we need to do
Is grab a sleeping bag or two
And build us a little campfire
And then with a little luck
We might just get stuck
Let's get a little mud on the tires

Chorus

And then with a little luck
We might just get stuck

. . .



She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving

[Chorus]
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
Of my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing

[Repeat chorus]

She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need

. . .

Time Warp

[Нет текста]

. . .



When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but remember no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
Getting out of being feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy

. . .


I remember
Trying not to stare
the night i first me you
You had me memorized
three weeks later
in the front porch light
taking forty five minutes
to kiss good night
I hadn't told you then
I thought I loved you then

(Chorus)
now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
strong then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought I loved you then

I remember
Taking you back
To right where I first met you
you were so surprised
there were people around
but i didn't care
I got down on one knee
right there once again
I thought i loved you then

(Chorus)
now your my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
strong then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought i loved you then

(break)

I can just see with you
with a baby on the way
i can just see you when your hair is turning gray
what i cant see
Is how I'm never gonna love you more
but I've said that before

now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe
the way i feel about you girl
You'll look back some day
at this moment that we're in
and ill look at you and say
and i thought i loved you then
and i thought i loved you then

. . .



I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol


. . .



I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-fi fantatic
Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

. . .


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